Eleven Things You Didn't Know About Me

Wynn Anne of Wynn Anne's Meanderings challenged me to write eleven facts about myself.

1. I love stationery and have enough notebooks to last me until about 2017.
2. I am a nervous traveller and die a thousand deaths before I've even left home.
3. I'm done with flying -- not because I'm scared. It's just such a banal experience. It should be marvellous and glamorous and magical like it was in the old days, and it's just not. I hate the humiliating security checks; and being crammed into a too-small seat; and the horrible food; and the way the movie gets stopped suddenly before it's finished; and the way duty free pretends to be something more than shopping to alleviate boredom.
4. My husband and children have died a thousand times apiece in my terrified imagination. When I wake in the night the first thing I do is check that everyone within reach is still breathing.
5. Writing is better than prescription drugs.
6. I have a terribly sweet tooth.
7. I used to enjoy crafts like embroidery and paper cutting but now I don't.
8. I miss my old single life from time to time -- particularly when other people talk about having hangovers.
9. I am too impatient to watch videos or listen to audio -- just write it down and let me read it.
10. Today is my 1010th day of breastfeeding.
11. I can't always tell left from right.

I also have to nominate three other blogs -- but I don't really read any at the moment because it's early baby days; I skim Godfather Timothy's Heropress for reports from my gaming crew and I dip into Miriam's Daily Adventures. 

Wendy House Wednesday: a lot of lists.

I was thinking about the order things get done in this house. Sometimes I get it wrong -- unimportant things get done before important things; I spend far too much time on things that are not necessary and that I don't enjoy.

My activities fall into some general categories:

• Children care (feeding, cuddling, playing, nappies, activities, planning)
• House care (cooking, tidying, cleaning, shopping, washing)
• Self care (washing, dressing, exercising, drinking water, resting
• Husband care (hanging out, chatting, cuddling, oiling the wheels)
• Writing work and self-development (blogs, courses, reflection, reading)
• Garden care (weeding, pottering, watering, harvesting)
• Play (reading, computer games, socialising on and off line, shopping)

This list roughly reflects the order of priority, and the order things get done. Self care comes high up the list because if I'm not well fed and rested and hydrated then I can't do anything else. Husband care comes high up as well as it's a way of making sure we stay connected -- we wrote our own wedding vows and specifically promised, among other things, to "cherish the bond of love between us".

In the past I've had a bit of fun with lists so I'm going to note down all the activities that fall under these categories. I want to examine what really needs to be done; and what I really enjoy (or don't enjoy).

A few things about hair

1. Curly locks, curly locks, wilt thou be mine?
2. Da Vinci drew it curling and running like water flowing.
3. Hair floats in water. It feels soft and free when you are swimming. But when you get out, it is heavy and sticky and prone to tangling.
4. When the wind gets in my hair, it sets into hard sharp points that whip my face. It doesn't do this when I'm blow drying it.
5. Hair in the plug hole is disgusting. I don't even like to think about it. It is also disgusting when it gets mixed up with dust and blows into the corners of the bathroom.
6. I don't like hair that gets caught in a hairbrush. I hate the grey fluffs I find among it. But I like to comb out my hairbrush and then wash it. The bristles become shiny black again, and the hairbrush looks very pleased and proud after a wash.
7. On a dry night I like to brush my hair in the dark because I like to see the static. It is marvellous to hear it crackle. In the morning, I like to see the strands fly out -- I am extending the reach of my head.
8. I like to twist a hank of my hair, moving back from my forehead towards my temple. I pin the ends above my ear. The bundle of hair feels smooth and hard.
   
9. I don't like to see an old woman with greasy, dirty hair. I feel angry that she has neglected herself, and then sorry, because she might have problems reaching her head, or perhaps her shower is not working and no-one will fix it for her. Her family has decided she is too difficult and grumpy.
10. There is advert hair, which gleams like a french polished table, or a tumbled stone. I imagine technicians wearing headphones rubbing and buffing it until there is nothing left of the real hair. Advert hair is hair that I can never achieve -- but I expect myself to try.
11. There is newly washed and dried hair spread over the pillow and a whispered: "You smell nice."
12. There is hair that looks better than it should at 3pm on the third day since my last hairwash.
13. It is lovely to have, on a hot and bothersome and frustrating day, your hair brushed off your face by a cool hand.
14. When hair gets in the way, it is a great relief to tie it into a pony tail, or to pin it back, or trap it under a tight hat.
    
15. Hair can be one thing (a single hair) or lots of them.
16. It is very satisfying to pluck out a single stiff hair that has been sitting invisible at the corner of my lip.
    

List of things that will not help

1. Putting another knot in the rope.
2. Hitting it.
3. Swearing at the fucking thing.
4. Hitting someone with it.
5. Using your teeth.
6. Pouring petrol on it and setting fire to it.
7. Running it on an empty tank.
8. Pushing it into a smaller space.
9. Rubbing it with a solvent.
10. Using an abrasive cleaner.
11. Adding more salt.
12. Putting it through the blender.
13. Shouting at the call-centre worker.
14. Bleach.
15. A boil wash.
16. Leaving it in the sun.
17. Salt and soda water.
18. A brisk rub-down with a rough towl.
19. An emetic.
20. Rubbing with grease.
21. Buying a newer model.
22. Trying to raise the nose cone.
23. A piece of kitchen roll.
24. A small square of foil.
25. A weak borax solution.
26. A repair man.
27. The fire brigade.
28. Consulting a physician.
29. Marker ink.
30. Dusting with flour.
31. Plunging into iced water.
32. Washing it with cola.
33. Boiling it in vinegar.
34. Selling it on Ebay.
35. Static mats.
36. A copper bracelet.
37. Reporting it to the authorities.
38. Filling in a form.
39. Taping it shut.
40. Replacing sprockets.
41. Hanging it in a damp place.
42. Placing in a cool oven.
43. Sending it by courier.
44. Never speaking of it again.
    

Ten pleasures that don't cost very much

1. The chance to be creative: Now that spending is out, I have to be a bit creative about how I get my jollies. That in itself is a pleasure, as sometimes it feels as if the things I make are beautiful, but rather useless.
   
2. Books I didn't know I had: I go through the bookshelves and discover a pile books that I haven't yet read. Now I have the time to read them all if I like. I feel as if someone has just handed me 20 free books.
3. Stretching: Body in Balance is a free-to-view channel which broadcasts exercise routines: including a variety of yoga styles.
4. Cheap video games: There's a branch of CEX in town: it's a shop that will take back your old games, and give you credit which you can put towards new (or secondhand) ones.
5. A mint plant next to the front door: Every time I brush past it, I smell it.
6. Fleece blanket: I'm so glad we bought a fleece throw last winter. It was only £15, and I bought it to go on the bed. As winter comes on, I spend most of my writing day wrapped up in it.
7. Languid beauty: I was amazed by all the beauty products I had stashed away. I guess that when I had an income, I didn't have the time to enjoy them. Now my morning routine (more like a mid-morning routine) is about twice as long and feels very luxurious.
8. Finishing food: I've got time to use up the leftovers, so there is much less waste in our household now. I also have the headspace to come up with ideas, and the energy to carry them through. Last week we got four beetroots in our veggie box. I can just about manage one beetroot in salad (I like them raw and grated into long, earthy-tasting magenta strips). But the rest? Then I remembered chocolate beetroot cake, and the rest is history. A rich, reddish chocolatey history.
   
9. Charity shops: To get the best out of charity shops, you need to have time for a regular run. Which I do. If I have clothes that I don't wear, I try to imagine what would make me wear them: they often just need a top or jumper to take them into Autumn. I carry in my head those missing-piece outfits whenever I go to the charity shops. Most of the time I find something -- not always what I expected. Tanktop the colour of redcurrants, anyone?
   
10. Having a lie in whenever I want: Even more fun because Nick has to go to work. I don't do it very often though, because I really like eating breakfast with him.
    

10 Activities for a naughty housewife

I am presently not entirely employed. I spend a lot of time at home doing chores, looking for work and scribbling. But that doesn't fill all the hours that stretch between Nick turning to wave as he turns the corner at the end of the drive and him startling me at 7pm by tapping on the window as he comes home.

Here are some other things I can do:

9am: Fail to empty the compost bin.
10am: Return to bed with my Ninendo DS.
11am: Eat Nutella straight out of the jar.
Noon: Take a shower and use large quantities of beauty products.
1pm: Watch a Warner Brothers cartoon DVD.
2pm: Coffee with a friend, followed by shopping-but-not-actually-buying-anything.
4pm: Cook a complicated and untidy supper.
5pm: Nap
6.57pm: Race round hiding all evidence of Nutella, make bed, plump cushions, putting ribbons in hair.

50 Things I Remember about Cranbrook School

This is part of my 50 things I remember project. Here is a list of all the 50 things posts.

1. Mr Badcock's "Now boys, bring the brains to bear."
2. The smell of preserved creatures in jars in the biology lab.
3. Mr Gunn telling me off during A Level biology for staring out of the window... messing around with Nick Robinson... weaving with strips of paper when I should have been cutting and gluing.
4. Always being cold in winter because we weren't allowed to wear t-shirts under our school blouses, and no-one in their right mind would ever sink to wearing a vest.
5. Runching our grey school socks down - because who the hell wears their socks pulled up?
   
6. Feeling as if games lessons were specifically designed to humiliate: the boys standing at the sports hall window to watch us getting into the swimming pool; being forced to do a dance routine to some stupid Madonna song; aerobics; mixed volleyball.
7. The nailpolish smell of esters in chemistry.
8. Doing a rubbish physics practical called 'The Great Heat Race' - each team was given a substance to heat until it boiled. We had washing-up liquid. Clearly not going to win.
9. I must have wasted literally years of my life waiting for mother to come and pick me up at the end of school.
10. Looking around the Queen's Hall during assembly and wondering how many of us would get out alive if there was a fire because there were 200 more people in the room than was permitted by fire regulations.
11. The teachers sweeping on to the stage in their gowns. They looked the teacher in the Bash Street Kids.
12. PaulV walking me and Katie through the churchyard and carrying our bags.
13. Telling my tutor I wasn't happy, then feeling betrayed when she told my parents.
14. Being afraid to use a school labcoat in case someone had put something disgusting in the pocket.
15. The PCs in the computer room were 286s (the monitors had red, blue, black and white). If you were really lucky, you'd get to use a 386.
16. Mrs Kerten was guaranteed to break the computer room. There was a printer that brought the entire network down if you switched it off.
17. The cheese and bacon whirls at lunch still are one of the nicest things I've ever eaten. Also, the treacle sponge. I still miss them.
18. Afew times a term our house was on duty. When we were in the fourth year, this meant replenishing the salad bar in the dining room. There never was anything to replenish because they put it all out at the start of lunch. But we still had to go and do the duty - we got in trouble if we didn't.
19. Making a chocolate cake with yoghurt icing in home ec. Katie, Miri and I ate mine because the lunch queue was so badly behaved that the prefects sent us all away.
20. Being scared to queue up for lunch because some of the boys were so rough -- they used to run at the queue so that you were crushed against the wall.
21. We had a French teacher who thought that Alex Lightstone was actually called Alex Lighthouse. "Aaaalex, chewing goom, poot it away, dans la pourbelle." She told my parents that we were the loudest, rudest, nosiest, cleverest class she had ever taught. She was a very good teacher, too.
    
22. During a year nine experiement to measure the amount of carbon dioxide exhaled by maggots, one of our class' maggots managed to crawl into a capillary tube. GROSS.
    
23. A girl in our class sitting, head bowed so her straight blonde hair fell like a tent over a biology text book, while the rest of us dissected ox lungs.
24. During the dissection of the ox lungs, we were told to use a tube to blow into them to see them inflate. One boy inhaled by accident.
25. My brother putting his hand through a window during a fight while waiting for the bus.
26. The monsterous unfairness of us having to wait three quarters of an hour after the end of school because our bus was used by another school first. I can't believe that no-one tried to negotiated a better service for us. Or, indeed that it never occurred to one of us to make a fuss about it.
    
27. Mr Gunn said that today he was going to give us some notes on coitus. Nick Robinson whispered "What's that?" and I said: "Bonking." Mr Gunn heard and said "...coitus, or indeed bonking as Clare rather earthily puts it."
28. Dying bits of cloth bright yellow in chemistry.
29. Discovering during art that nothing awful happened when I used a sewing machine. I had a lot fun embellishing with silver thread a batik design inspired by tomatoes, oranges and peppers.
30. Wednesday afternoon activities: rambling was an excuse to get out into the countryside and walk very quickly back to school.
31. Swimming sports caused all the girls to get their periods simultaneously.
32. The tuckshop lady said: "Don't worry about that now. Your figure will come through when you go to university." And she was right.
33. I really liked a girl called Celia because she had thick round glasses that were forever falling down her nose; and because she carried her pencils in a round shortbread tin. I don't thinks she was very happy boarding, though.
34. Marvelling in year nine woodwork when, following the teachers simple instructions, a pencil box appeared under my hands.
35. The overwhelming urge to yell "Fire" in a crowded between lessons corridor.
36. In year nine, the labs in the west wing were brand new and really beautiful. I loved the bright cleaness of it, and the generously sized rooms and corridors: the rest of the school sometimes felt as if it had been made for pixie people who were afraid of daylight. I liked being told to be CAREFUL of the lab benches in the west wing: they were made from single 15m slabs of wood.
37. Feeling secretly jealous of the guys in the CCF because they got to go on camp and mess around in a hovercraft. I never joined because I thought I'd be rubbish at parade (I still can't tell left from right).
38. The endless, endless poetry -- both taught in English and written by me. Endless.
39. A teachers told me I was let down by my Godawful handwriting.
40. I was mocked by my classmates for suggesting that in the future school children would all carry small computers round with them.
41. The boy who sat next to be in geography pushed his homework over to me the day I forgot mine.
42. Mr Hartley leaving the classroom through one door and returning through another. He used to tell us stories of the things he used to be allowed to do to pupils (mostly throwing board rubbers and chalk at them). He boasted that he could leave his classes alone for long periods because they never knew when or from where he would return.
43. Sitting in the lecture theatre on a rainy day - I thought that it must be a bit like that bit in Catcher in Rye where he talks about going into the museum.
44. Discovering that with computers, you could do things that you'd been able to do since you were about ten, and people would think it was wonderful. For my GCSE project I built a little point-and-click adventure using Visual Basic, and illustrated it with my own pictures done in Paint.
45. Trying to add rude books to the library catalogue in the name of a teacher I didn't like.
46. The lobby in the library would always be crowded at break with small boys: there was a copy of Encarta, with a general knowledge game on it.
47. Seeing a crowd of boys filling the pavement and a smart-looking lady trying to edge past. One of the boys accidentally spilt his can of drink on her. She looked appalled and told him watch it. One of his friends shouted after her: "His name's David."
48. Spending Friday lunch times at choir practice because we'd been told it was important to have interests outside schoolwork.
49. We were each given an element - we had to produce an A4 sized poster about it to be stuck on a giant periodic table. I got iron, but swapped it with another girl for one of the rare elements because it sounded more interesting. But what the fuck do you say about a metal so radioactive it can't exist for more than a few moments. I still wish I'd kept iron.
50. The crunch of a mercury thermometer breaking, and Dr Lewis sending to the prep room for some flowers of sulphur. "Don't use it as a stirrer!"
    

Fifty things I remember about my time at DCPS

This is part of my 50 things I remember project. Here is a list of all the 50 things posts.

1. Building homes for tiny creatures in the roots of the oak tree in the Upper School playground with Diana Ward.
2. Miss Ware's sausage machine -- she told us that the year above us had been so naughty that they'd worn it smooth, and it was now used as the tunnel in the Upper School Playground.
3. The new art room in Lower School smelled of bread and honey.
4. Mrs Cardwell, who wore pink and grey, and sometimes jade green.
5. Horrible reading lessons in the sick room. It smelled of puke, and the curtains were drawn so we didn't look out of the window. Mrs Bea kept telling us that we -- and all young people -- were rubbish for saying 'somethink' and 'drawring'; and the others read so slowly that I wanted to shake them, and I always got told off for reading ahead. Miss Ware's group sounded much better. They were reading Willard Price's Lion Adventure. She said it was so silly that they couldn't stop laughing long enough to read it. "People just keep getting eaten... chomp."
   
6. The headmaster took us one a week for drama, and he made a huge fuss of learning our names. It made me feel tremendously important.
7. Seeing bunsen burners on the yellow flame through the window of the science lab, and being scared of using them next year.
8. I put my name down for puppet-making, but somehow Olivia and I ended up in popmobility. Olivia almost cried. I was totally bewildered. Luckily, we were able to move across.
9. One hot day, Guy Oxley climbed over the wall and fell out of the tree house. I saw it happen from the other side of the playing field. Later, I saw him being comforted in the library by the headmaster's wife. She was giving him a drink of water.
10. Climbing through the hedge at the end of the playing field to escape -- but then I didn't really know what I would do next, so I climbed back up the bank.
11. Writing secret messages and burying them under the hedge. Later, we dug them up, and all the writing had vanished!
12. During swimming sports, Paul V and James Smith wrapped towels around their hair and strutted around.
13. James Parsons saying that he looked forward to showing off his legs in shorts when the summer uniform came in. "They're so suntanned and sexy. My shorts, I mean."
14. Finding dried peas in the pockets of my tracksuit -- we used to have games right before lunch on a Friday, and it was always fish, chips and peas.
15. The horrible roast dinner on a Wednesday with dark green, bitter cabbage -- where do you find cabbage like that? -- and slices of grey leathery meat, and gravy that tasted of dusty white pepper.
16. Reading the rude messages scratched on the desks in Mr Clark's classroom: Bone can't f*** and Bone loves Miss Liverton.
17. Wondering what Mrs Stickland would look like if she did a forward roll. She was wearing a bright pink towling tracksuit and full make-up.
18. My friends telling me that I would probably be offered drugs at the state school I was down for.
19. There was a girl in my class who had the same swimming costume as me. She sometimes liked to duck people. Once I sank myself under water and saw the costume above me. I thought she was swimming over me to be spiteful -- but was just my own body reflected on the surface of the water.
    
20. Mr Clark saying that so long as we were in the right place at the right time doing the right thing, everything would be OK. And that if any teacher ever told us to do something that contradicted something we'd already been told, we should come and talk with him about it.
21. Going up the stairs to the art room felt like going into another world -- it was so messy and comfortable.
22. We were evacuated from the CD room during high wind -- they were afraid trees would fall on the nissan huts and squash us flat. We crowded in the art room with another class and did our work on our knees.
23. A girl from the year above ate her brick of icecream between the two wafers.
24. In Upper School, always feeling cold during break on the dining hall playground, and being too scared to join in the running around games because it was so noisy and crowed, and I was afraid of falling over.
25. Tennis balls flying overhead, the whole length of the playground, and wondering how boys could throw them so far, and why girls couldn't do the same.
    
26. Being told off for taking off our shoes during break in the summer.
27. Putting a large plastic spider on Mr Hendy's chair. He didn't notice.
28. Outside Mr Hendy's classroom was a large sandbox, which he used to teach us about erosion. It was very effective -- you could see the progress of a river from young to old in a few minutes.
29. During break, always wanting to go somewhere that the teachers couldn't see. Once we escaped into the shrubbery that surrounded the tennis courts. We wanted to do a rain dance to ensure cross country would be cancelled.
30. Letting Latin vocab tests ruin the whole of Tuesday morning. Lucky they weren't in the afternoon, really.
    
31. Gale Betts folded a piece of paper, licked the fold and it tore neatly in half. I thought that was an amazing trick. I still use it today.
32. The rough red bricks of Moat -- we waited for the school bus outside that building, so I became very familiar with them, and with the crunchy white mineral that gathered in the holes.
33. Always wishing that I had better kit than I did: my canvas hockey boots should have been football boots; and my tennis racket should have been graphite not wood; and to have proper school sports socks instead of plain navy ones.
34. Sitting on the grass eating the stalks of clover leaves.
35. Beetroot juice staining my macaroni cheese on salad day (usually Monday); and the crispy cheese on top.
36. Sitting in the quiet playground and knitting.
37. One day a week, our year could play boardgames in Mr Oborn's classroom -- there was always a scramble for Downfall. We used to play a lot of Cheat, but our cards kept getting lost because people would stuff them into desks.
    
38. Our playing field was on the site of old orchards, and there was a tree that produced the most delicious apples: they were crisp and sour-sweet.
    
39. In Lower School, trying and failing to climb trees -- I just wasn't strong enough to pull myself up the grey apple trunks.
    
40. I was asked to pick up the netball bibs at the end of games; but I had to run to catch the school bus, so my friend offered to do it for me. The games teacher told me off -- even though she KNEW I caught the bus, and that it was always a scramble to get dressed at the end of games and she'd told me off for being late the week before.
41. A little blonde girl who was so plump and pink and white and pretty -- until she opened her mouth and you could see her teeth were black and rotten.
42. A few girls in Lower School had the grey school uniform hats. Once, some boys took one and peed in it. We heard about it in Upper School.
    
43. There was a treehouse in the Upper School adventure playground. It used to have a deathslide running from it, but by the time we got there, it wasn't working, and the treehouse was supposed to be out of bounds (so naturally we tried to get up there as much as possible.
44. Collecting scented barks and resins and leaves to make incense. We worked on it in the playground, grinding and grinding. We kept it wrapped in a handkerchief between breaks, a bristly lump in my pocket. Later, Priscilla Parish came round to my house and we wrapped it up in birch bark and burnt it. I think it smelled better before we burnt it.
    
45. There was a small tree and on the bare earth under it, a spot where the ground bounced. We had a lot of fun bouncing up and down. And then one day someone decided to dig down and find out what made it bounce. It was just treeroots; and it never bounced again.
46. A boy dropped his dinner tray because he was hurrying. He went back for more, and dropped it again.
47. The greyish, slimey feel of the water we used to wipe the dining room tables.
48. We were talking about what we would like for Christmas with one of the dinnerladies. She said that the only thing she really wanted was her husband (who had died earlier in the year) back.
49. On his first day in Upper School, my brother arrived late for the bus. The teacher on duty asked why he was late. I explained that he'd lost his trousers after games, and the teacher replied dryly: "Well you should have looked after them better, Clare."
50. Miss Ware rode into school on a motorbike, and wore turquoise nail polish. I thought she was wonderful (and still do).
    

50 things I remember about Mrs Hollins' Nursery School at Great Pagehurst

This is part of my 50 things I remember project. Here is a list of all the 50 things posts.

1. The builders found a mummified cat in the attic, and we buried it by the pond. We had to be careful to only throw earth -- and not grass -- into the grave.
2. The minnows in the sink by the french windows died in the frost. Some of the other children took them from the compost heap and pretended to fry them in the wendy house.
3. The chimney of the stove in the wendy house was always full of sand, and so was the rug on the floor.
4. They brought out a giant blue paddling pool one day. We took off our clothes, folded them and left the bundles in a line on the lawn. Priscilla said: 'I'm going to put my clothes next to yours, because you're nice.'
5. Running across the lawn on a cloudy day with Claire chasing me. She was wearing green dungarees, and her long hair was flying.
6. Mrs Hollins wore a large timer -- the colour and shape of an orange lentil -- round her neck so she knew when to take the bread out of the oven.
7. One day, I was brave and asked for hot milk with Ovaltine. It was one of the most delicious things I've ever tasted.
8. They took us up into the attic to look at some very old toys. There was a red cloak draped over a trunk, and I thought it might be a ghost. We found a very old gollywog doll, and Georgina liked it so much, and was so good and careful with it that Mrs Hollins said she could bring it downstairs.
9. A boy called Ned (who had red hair) made a set of traffic lights out of painted round margarine tubs, a piece of wood and some little bulbs.
10. Tapping nails through bottle tops in the woodwork room, and sawing bits of wood to make a rattle.
    
11. The sound of wind in the poplar trees, and the smell of them.
12. One day, we played with shells. Mrs Hollins said that she liked to arrange little ones in the bigger shells and pretend they were food.
13. A girl called Lisa who was a bit naughty. She painted over someone else's art.
14. At clearing up time, washing purple paint off a brush in the sink.
15. Making tiny cottage loaves to eat at elevensies time.
16. Warm bread, spread with butter and marmite and a mug of cold milk.
17. Sitting in a circle and playing musical instruments.
18. The musty smell of the dressing up box -- which was in the dining room.
19. Hamish and Georgina and some other children made masks and dressed up as the Scooby Doo gang. They wanted elastic to hold the masks on, but Mrs Hollins only had thread.
    
20. Mrs Hollins could hop round in a circle on the square paving stones by the door.
21. There was a picture of a girl with a hoop on my peg. I shared it with Anna. It was the first peg next to the door. Claire had the next peg along -- it was a blue-green picture of a child holding a dove.
22. I took a seat for elevensies, and Saskia said that she should have my seat, as it was higher, and she was older. I said that I needed the higher seat because I was younger.
23. Walking down the crunchy gravel drive.
24. Mrs Hollins had a lady to help her who was called Molly.
25. There was a bouncy horse that made a wonderful squeaky-squeaky noise.
26. Going on the royal blue trampoline.
27. Wondering at the air wobbling over the heater.
28. The smell of the old yew tree on the terrace.
29. Playing in the snow -- a boy hit Mrs Hollins in the face with a snowball, and she helped him to say he was sorry. I thought he was very grown-up, and that she was very kind.
30. Vicky the black and white dog who lived near the back door and barked a lot.
31. Claire sitting on the back step and stroking Vicky -- I thought she was very brave.
32. Going to the top of the climbing frame.
33. The dining room carpet was grey, and the furniture was black oak.
    
34. There was a secret compartment in the coffer where the dressing-ups were kept. It had necklaces in it.
35. I liked the dry sand indoors -- it was in a baby's bath.
36. We played in the indoor wendy house, and Anna said that she should be the father, because she had short hair.
37. Remembering not to leave the lids of the empty perfume bottles so that the smell didn't escape.
38. There was a red bicycle.
39. We went to visit Mrs Thomas -- but I didn't fancy it, so when we walked past our house, I escaped from the end of the line with Claire, and we went and hid round the back among my father's cuttings. We heard my mother come out to the dustbin, but I was too scared of her seeing us. I told her later, and she was cross and said I shouldn't run away.
40. Dipping my hands into the sink of minnows on the terrace to feel how cool the water was.
41. Georgina taught me, with a grass seed head: "Here's a tree in summer, here's a tree in winter, here's a pretty flower and here's an April shower."
42. The smell of poster paint in those safety posts with the slit in the top of the lid.
    
43. Remembering to wash our hands before we made bread buns.
44. Hoping I would get a pretty mug at elevensies time.
    
45. The hall where the rocking horse and the sand tray was had a polished wooden floor and seemed to stretch out forever into darkness -- but if the kitchen door was open, there was a rectangle of daylight at the end of it.
46. There was a door out of the woodwork room into the parts of the house weren't nursery school. And another door out of the dining room. I always wondered where they went.
47. Priscilla saying that her brother was big enough to throw me where the monsters were.
48. A boy called Kevin playing with an old saucepan in the sandpit. He had a coat with a fur-lined hood.
49. The garage was in a barn, and when there were no cars in it, you could see bright dots of light shining through the black back wall.
50. Sitting on the window seat in the dining room and watching all the mothers pulling up in their cars to collect us.
    

A list of things of which I am afraid

• Deep cold water
• Being stung by or even brushing jellyfish while swimming
• Jumping into a swimming pool
• Plug hole hair
• The mocking laughter of strangers
• People who describe the plots of horror movies
• Clowns
• Crocodiles
• Angry herds of cattle
• Getting lost in a mangrove swamp
• Loud dogs
• Men who walk as if a large space belongs to them
• Women with scraped back hair, grey faces and hard eyes
• Adults who shout angrily at their children in public
• People who want to be noticed in a bad way
• Meeting a person with whom I used to go to school, and finding that they have not moved on
• Being misunderstood because I've made a too obscure reference
• Accidentally plaigiarising
• Editors of all kinds
• Having 3BT ragged by AA Gill and Giles Coren
• Bits of tissue blocking the sinks in public lavatories
• Putting on more weight and not being able to find any clothes that fit
• Debt and penury
• Being crushed by the cogs of bureaucracy
• Never finding another job
• The government's attitude to motherhood
• The power of doctors
• Falling from a high place because I indulged the temptation to step over the edge
• Sea mist when the tide is coming in
• Being too cold to light a fire
• Falling through ice
• Dark footpaths
• Clicking 'submit'
• Not making it as a writer
• Failing to write anything good ever again
• Causing a road accident because I was not paying attention while crossing the road
• Going upstairs in the dark
• The house catching fire because I've left the oven on
• People shouting outside
• Walking along the top of a mountain ridge when there is a strong wind blowing
  

A list of things that I didn't like as a child, but do like now

1. Alcohol
2. Needlework (thank you to Miss L and Mrs S for that!)
3. Going for walks
4. Strong cheese
5. Charles Dickens, the Brontes and Jane Austen.
6. Treasure Island
7. Having a lie in
8. Buying clothes
9. Getting my hair cut
10. Massage
11. The radio
12. The scary bits of Dr Who
13. Not living with my parents
14. Getting married and having children
15. Traveling on a train by myself
16. Nail polish
17. Stockings
18. Having a nap in the afternoon
19. Sunday papers
20. Chili
21. Ginger
22. Spring onions
23. Talking to strangers
24. My siblings
25. Filing my nails
26. Map reading
27. James Bond
28. Star Trek
29. Kandinsky's Cossacks
30. Robots
    

I made this list in response to Jem's comment on the Three Beautiful Things post Museum pieces, the expert and prescription.

What I like in fiction

I don't like horror and torture and dark cruelty.

I do like female characters, and a fascinating world.

I like to wonder about a character's past -- and their future.

I like stories with some science that is indistinguishable from magic.

I like stories with an idea that I can explore and carry round in my teeth to worry at, bury, dig up, chew on and bury again.

Things which are only pleasurable because of the unpleasantness which went before.

• The burning tingling of cold fingers warming up.
• Feeling better after throwing up.
• Once back at home, thinking about eating a tangerine and drinking very cold water from a rinsed-out milk bottle while sitting on a stone behind a low wall, the only shelter from the wind on the top of a cloud-bound mountain.
• Waking up with no headache after falling asleep while ill.
• The engineer has visited, and now it works.
• Coming into a cool, dark building on a day when the light and heat burn my head.
• A stuffy warm office after a walk on a morning when a knife-sharp wind is blowing.

Twenty Things That Stimulate Creativity

1. A vegetable box
2. A walk
3. Something that needs repair
4. A list
5. A new stitch
6. Planning an outfit I've never worn before
7. Having a clear out
8. Writing in my notebook
9. An art class
10. Listening to a radio play
11. Walking round a market
12. Following a how-to of a craft I've never tried
13. Doing a writing exercise
14. Art galleries and museums
15. Reading a few art or craft blogs
16. Sitting and thinking
17. Reading or looking at a source book
18. Setting a goal
19. Thinking about a problem
20. Trying a new recipe

A list of countries appearing in the stats for 3BT

Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Argentina
Australia
Austria
Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus
Belgium
Belize
Botswana
Brazil
Brunei Darusslam
Bulgaria
Cameroon
Canada
Chile
China
Costa Rica
Cote d'Ivoire
Croatia
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Denmark
Ecuador
Egypt
El Salvador
Estonia
Faroe Islands
Finland
France
Germany
Ghana
Greece
Honduras
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
India
Indonesia
Islamic Republic of Iran
Israel
Italy
Jamaica
Japan
Jordan
Kuwait
Lao Peoples Democratic Republic
Latvia
Lebanon
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Madagascar
Malaysia
Maldives
Malta
Mexico
Montserrat
Morocco
Mozambique
Netherlands
Netherlands Antilles
New Zealand
Nigeria
Norway
Pakistan
Philippines
Poland
Portugal
Puerto Rico
Qatar
Republic of Ireland
Republic of Korea
Romania
Russian Federation
Russian Federation Tatarstan
Saudi Arabia
Singapore
Slovakia
Slovenia
South Africa
Spain
Sri Lanka
St Kitts and Nevis
Sweden
Switzerland
Syrian Arab Republic
Taiwan
Tanzania
Thailand
Turkey
Uganda
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
United Kingdom
United States of America
Uzbekistan
Venezuela
Vietnam

Fifty things I remember about my time at Sissinghurst Primary School

This is part of my 50 things I remember project. Here is a list of all the 50 things posts.

1. Mrs White the dinner lady saying: 'Eat your fritter'. A fritter was a diamond-shaped piece of battered fish.
2. scratchy hemp skipping ropes
3. peering through the silver grey fence panels at the flowers in the church yard
4. staying in at break because a funeral was going past
5. looking through the gate at the fourth year juniors sitting in the field with the goats
6. Helen Pope's and Bronwyn Riley's heads touching as they shared an advanced spelling book. They would also play their recorders for hymns in assembly
7. Using pooters to catch insects (beakers with two tubes, one you suck and the other to vacuum up the creatures. Mr Martin explained that the sucking tube had a valve to stop you getting a mouthful of ants.
8. Mr Martin telling us to sing louder in order to drown out the new children who were crying in assembly.
9. The clunk-clunk of the fire escape door. And being too scared to use it, until I learnt to read the 'push bar to open' sign.
10. Leaning against the wall to get up on to stilts -- there were three sizes, bigs, mediums and small, all splintery and varnished in bright orange and yellow.
11. Being told off for telling the girls who came to take us for games that our teacher always let us play with the stilts.
12. Mr Martin's fierce orange eyebrows
13. Mrs Covelli's fierce black eyebrows
14. Being told in assembly that Mrs White was very ill, and then later that she had died. And then sitting on her memorial bench, and wondering if she was watching.
15. I didn't like the name of one of the dinner ladies so I called her Mrs Jones. Her real name was Mrs Grabham (Mr Martin said that this was a very appropriate name, and we should do what she said or she'd grab us).
16. On hot afternoons going out for a nature walk round Chad Lake.
17. There was a wendy house behind the blackboard.
18. Weaving on cardboard shapes with fat yarns.
19. Ned Crowe coming in from boys electronics in the hall and picking up a thick piece of wool from the floor and saying 'Whatever is this'.
20. Holding hands with Ben Bower and him saying I was just the sort of girl he would like to marry.
21. Country dancing -- and crying because I couldn't do Lucky Sevens, and being surprised at how kind Mrs Covelli was.
22. Mrs Covelli escorting Mairi Smith out of the classroom, holding her shirt sleeves up so her painty hands wouldn't get everywhere and calling her a messy little girl.
23. Not being allowed to go home until all the scissors were accounted for.
24. Mrs Covelli counting down from ten while we tidied up.
25. Jonathan Martin getting under the mobile classroom
26. Digging down in the gravel in the adventure playground and finding the gravel got wetter the further down we went.
27. Digging a hole in the sandpit and being afraid we might get to magma.
28. Priscilla Parish holding forth on the correct way of taking a crisp from someone else's packet.
29. Buying packets of crisps from the school secretary Mrs Smith, who had wirey black hair and a beatific smile.
30. Insisting that the nit nurse checked my doll's hair before she checked my own.
31. Mrs Suthers making me stand up on my chair to sing a song about Jesus because she said I hadn't been listening.
32. Mrs Hall explaining the correct way to carry chairs (which I can't remember) and the incorrect way to carry chairs (which I can remember): Don't carry it on your head. Don't support it on your hips with the legs sticking out to the side.
33. The smell of scented rubbers, and scented felt tip pens.
34. Calling felt tips 'felts'. 'Can I borrow your felts?'
35. Queuing for the loo before going into the swimming pool and discussing whether it was all right or not to wee through your bathers before you swam.
36. Walking back from the games field holding hands with Eleanor Milburn and doing 'All girls together, no boys.'
37. Nearly up-chucking at the smell of Emma Bowyer's fishpaste sandwich.
38. 'Georges win! Andrews in the bin.'
39. Gordon Russell dropping a fat, snotty tear on my green reading card. He was standing behind me in the queue to have his reading heard, and had just been told off. I was cross, because it was a newish reading card and I would be stuck with the stain for a very long time.
40. I had to do a maths exercise which involved colouring in a square to show how many boys there were in the class. They ran around so much that I couldn't count them, so I coloured in all the squares. Later, I was told off: 'Mrs Covelli doesn't have 30 boys in her class!'
41. Being frightened of a dinner lady's twisted hands and shining knuckles -- Mrs Filmer must have had painful arthritis, which is probably why she always seemed so cross.
42. Finding a cross carved into the trunk of the lime tree in the front playground.
43. Horrid boys trying to push girls into the damp and smelly boys' loos in the back playground.
44. In the summer, we were allowed to eat our lunch in the front playground. My form teacher Mrs Covelli came and kindly asked me what I was doing alone in the cool deserted dining hall. I explained that the sun was too bright and hot, and that I preferred being inside. She sat with me and ate her lunch, and complimented me on my pink Victoria Plum lunchbox.
45. Singing lessons with Mrs Crowe, in which we sang 'We All Live in A Yellow Submarine' and 'John Brown's Baby's Got a Cold Upon its Chest'.
46. One afternoon our teacher was late back from lunch. We lined up outside the locked classroom and sang 'We all Live in Tub of Margarine'. When she still didn't come, we sang 'We All Live in a Bubblegum Machine.'
47. A rumour flew round reception that if we put two words too close together, the thing to do was to put a neat dot in the middle of the line.
48. Getting changed after swimming under my blue towling poncho. The highlight of the swimming class was doing a whirlpool -- we would walk round the circular pool, pushing against the water, and then stop and let ourselves be washed backwards.
49. A lesson where we had to read one of a set of non-fiction books -- they covered every topic you can imagine, and we could choose whatever we liked -- and answer some questions at the end.
50. Simon Butler asking a girl who had come in to do work experience how to spell 'kerfuffle', and her looking really confused.

50 things I like

1. The Addams Family
2. fingerless gloves
3. handcream
4. embroidery
5. workshops
6. Mini cheddars
7. sunshine
8. apple juice
9. Futurama
10. Kazu Kibushi
11. Sushi
12. Fleece blankets
13. Lie-ins
14. Eating breakfast with Nick
15. Listening to the radio
16. The typefaces Palatino and Garamond
17. Pencils
18. Google
19. Oranges
20. Abel and Cole
21. BBC 7
22. PaulV
23. bunches of anemones
24. buying a few expensive chocolates
25. Nutella
26. Going to the beach and making footprints on the sand
27. Autumn colours
28. Wild Mushrooms
29. A mug of coffee
30. footpaths
31. Maps
32. Candles
33. A campfire
34. Browsing in a bookshop
35. Walking
36. Planning something fun
37. Snuggling
38. Having a bath
39. Neil Gaiman
40. My suitcase
41. ginger biscuits
42. slow cooked meat
43. rare steak
44. wild food
45. Scherenschnitte
46. turquoise
47. fossils
48. The Mighty Boosh
49. Sunsets
50. playing creative games

List of words associated with the elderly

wisdom
older people
life experience
dementia
home
warden
assisted living
illness
death
stories
depression
laughter
walking stick
zimmer
bridge
whist
Darby and Joan, Evergreen, University of the 3rd Age
grandchildren
support
advice
talk
marmalade jam
gardening
thinking
hearing aid
heater
difficult
grumpy
kind
bereavement
loneliness
outreach
alarm
conmen
antiques
white-headed
hoary-headed
grey beard
During the war we...
When your mother was a little girl...
I remember
mobility aids
scooter
feeding the birds
it's not how it used to be
butterscotch, York fruits, Murray Mints
Bronley soaps
fruit cake
bus travel
gossip
what's that, dear?
road accidents
...a more innocent time
driving very slowly
blue rinse
getting up very early
pensions
pensioner
OAP
December
twilight years
dying at home
staying in own home
power of attorney
prescription drugs
stockpiling pills
conversations about illness and death

List of words associated with success

victory
triumph
target
hit the target
hit the mark
peak
summit
achievement
tour de force
trial
hill top
laurels
trophy
cup
prize
spoils
grand prix
complete
finish
first pas the post
winner
commended
excellence
bested
came out on top
winner takes it all
victor ludorum
chequered flag
goal
in the bag
podium
medal
gong
Olympian
top of the pile
best in show
blue / red ribbon
finalist
placed
finish line
game, set and match
throw a six
top of the heap
gold medal, silver, silver gilt, bronze
complete
tape
yellow jersey
sash
checkmate
bingo
top score
high score
he shoots, he scores
top marks
leader board
100%
bull's eye
effort has paid off
in the cup
hat trick
won by a nose
scraped in
broke the tape
convincing win
broke a record
number one
award-winning
won
lap of honour

List of items to do with moving house

boxes

worry

dust

lost items found

items lost

cups of tea

money concerns

nostalgia for old house

regret at leaving

excitement about new house

breakages

lifting

smell of cardboard

relief that it's over

learn to love your boxes

one box a week

chaos

irregular meal times

worries about parking

stress

newspaper and bubblewrap

newsprint

lorry's engine running

trip to the dump

Champagne

discovering lovely things I'd forgotten I owned

fear of theft

a fresh start

change of address notes

new things

logistics

ditching

unwanted

dead tired

break from routine

wondering if the day will ever end

sound of cardboard tearing

tape and the smell of tape

sound of ripping tape

things put together that are not usually together